Academy Awards Diary

On Friday you saw my reviews of the seven of the nine films nominated for Best Picture. It was my list and I am sticking to it. I have read that "The Artist" is the movie to beat at the Oscars, however, the same people thought "The Tree of Life" was a great film, and if you read this blog on Friday, you know that my thoughts on that movie is quite the opposite. So tonight is Oscar’s night, I really enjoy this event. It allows my wife and me to keep up with a tradition of going to the movies. It allows us to make a list of other movies to watch and broaden our horizons. However, the show goes too long and this diary may not make it to the show's completion, but I will try anyway. "And the Oscar goes to...."
 8:05p.m. - Wife is putting daughter to bed and I am charged with getting the TV ready. 3D shoots! He Scores!
8:11 p.m. - For you Oscar rookies, they don't start at 7p.m. A few years ago ABC took the ratings away from E! and Joan Rivers interviewing all the actors on the Red Carpet. Robin Roberts is interviewing George Clooney and Stacey Kiebler. Wasn't she a pro wrestler?
8:16 p.m. - There is a Busy Phillips sighting. She walks in with Michelle Williams, those Dawson's Creek roots run deep. It scored Phillips air time on the red carpet. Is anyone surprised that Michelle Williams is the best actor to come out of that show?
8:24 p.m. - I am glad we got the Director of the Oscar's perspective of what is going to happen. Plus, Chris Rock needs to lose the Fro.
8:30 p.m. - From Electric Company to opening the Oscars, Morgan Freeman is the man.
8:36 p.m. - Billy Crystal is too short for a Tuxedo with tails.
8:37 p.m. - Billy is making fun James Earl Jones voice. Seriously?
8:43 p.m. - First prediction correct, Hugo wins for Best Cinematography. Tree of Life was nominated and lost. Seriously, if Tree of Life wins anything I will throw up in my mouth.
8:45 p.m. - Hugo 2-2. Best Art Direction. If the next award is Best Picture it will be Hugo. Everyone who is involved in making this movie seems to be 80 years and need to make it to the Blue Plate after parties.
8:54 p.m. - Did someone let J-Lo know that her breasts are showing? On another note Billy Crystal's jokes are seriously bombing. The tally right now is two bad jokes about the Kodak bankruptcy and their wish to get out of naming rights.
8:58 p.m. - Somebody who can make anyone look like Margaret Thatcher deserves an Oscar.
9:09 p.m. do you think the Iranian movie won Best Foreign Film to ease tensions and bring the price of oil down?
9:12 p.m. - Another prediction correct Octavia Spencer for "The Help". She crapped in a pie for that trophy. I know someone who once crapped in a box as a practical joke.
9:22 p.m. - Mr. Razor meet Mr. Cooper. Bradley Cooper must have finished last in his Fantasy Football league. Only 10 people got that joke. I am kind of like Billy Crystal.
9:41 p.m. - Robert Downey Jr. was just caught Tebowing
9:45 p.m. - Chris Rock really needs to lose the fro.
9:55 p.m. - I have to be quite honest, these Oscars are killing me. Nobody is funny which makes for a long night. Next year they need either Ricky Gervais, Charlie Sheen or Newt Gingrich to be the hosts and give them all creative control.
9:57 p.m. - Number 4 for Hugo
9:58 p.m. - Bets on Melissa Leo swearing this year????
10:16 p.m. - Will Farrell and Zach Galifianakis....this is going to be good.
10:25 p.m. - Angelina is showing some leg. Brad is in the front row so he will kick your ass.
10:27 p.m. - The Descendants gets their first win. I thought that movie was done very well. Do you think George Clooney was conflicted being nominate in one and starring in the other?
10:30 p.m. - The Oscars should make the awards like a meat raffle. You must be present to win. That is BS that Woody Allen was not there.
10:34 p.m. - My wife just brought to my attention that John Williams had 40% of the nominations for Best Original Score and still lost. That is the kind of night it has been for Hugo.
10:39 p.m. - Some good phallic talk for Short Film presentations. Where are these movies played? Are they part of the Halftime show at the Super Bowl or are they the ad space corporations pay millions of dollars for.
10:45 p.m. - Animated Shorts? Isn't that what we used to watch on Saturday mornings, religiously?
10:50 p.m. - Final Four people! My picks are Clooney, Davis, The Descendants and Scorsese (no drinking please)
10:52 p.m. - First shock of the Night! Hazanavicius wins best Director. It may not have been a shock had I actually seen "The Artist".
10:56 p.m. - Here is a suggestion. Next year let's cut the Red Carpet by 30 minutes and start the actual show at 8 p.m. and we are done by 11 p.m. The Governor’s Award crap 4 minutes before 11 is just stupid. Just saying.
11:05 p.m. - The annual tribute to people that the Academy has lost this past year. It is always a great tribute and there is always someone that you don't realize or forgot has passed (i.e. Peter Falk).
11:07 p.m. - For the record, Whitney Houston died in 2012 not 2011.
11:16 p.m. - I didn't realize, Esteban Reyes from Weeds is nominated for Best Actor. Looks like he upgraded from Mexican drug lord.
11:18 p.m. - 0-2 on my final four. Should have seen The Artist.
11:22 p.m. - These JC Penney adds with Ellen DeGeneres are dumb after the first one. Maybe just in general. I know I am just babbling now, but they have only given out two awards in the last 32 minutes. See my problem here now?
11:27 p.m. - Bradley Cooper really needs to shave.
11:29 p.m. - Meryl wins Best Actress. I know I didn't pick her but I truly believed she was going to win. I wanted to see Viola Davis win because it is someone different. Meryl's best role is still Miranda Priestly in "The Devil Wears Prada"
11:32 p.m. - Thank God no commercial between Best Actress and Best Picture. Now we have Tom Cruise to listen to. Baby Steps.
11:35 p.m. - "The Artist" wins the Best Picture Oscar. I didn't see it, I have no comment and can't make the claim that it didn't deserve.

I made it through the entire Oscars and to be honest it was very painful. Billy Crystal missed the ball on this one and the Academy needs to get someone else next year. I know he was a fill in for Eddie Murphy, but still. However, the one shining light on this evening was that "The Tree of Life" didn't win anything, Thank God.

3D
Coming Right Atcha